Friday, September 17, 2010

A must read website

I found a new website a few days ago. I consider it a must read for any like minded souls.

http://artofmanliness.com/

What can I say?

I wet shave with a vintage safety razor and have for years.

I've been known to carry calling cards.

I know how to shoot a handgun.

I've worn fedoras for over twenty years.

A truly amazing website. Though I reserve the right to disagree on some things. For one thing A fedora certainly does go well with jeans and a T shirt. When the T shirt is black and has a black leather coat over it that is. It also goes well with the old fashioned plaid wool shirt or hunting coat. Though that duty is done equally well with a less expensive felt crusher.

Check out The Art Of Manliness I'm sure you will enjoy it.

Woods

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

It's time to prepare the big speach

When I married my wife four years ago there were also children as part of the package.

That includes two stepdaughters that just turned 14 and 16.

While they are in North Carolina visiting thier real father for the summer, it hasn't prevented me from seeing thier friends around the nieghborhood. And noticing something alarming in the process. BOYFRIENDS!

So I suppose it's time for me to prepare what is commonly known amognst men as "THE SPEACH"

I thought I would rough draft it here for all to see. I suppose it will go like this...

Hi, What did you say your name was? How do you spell that?

Let me make something clear. I didn't ask because I want to be your friend. When you're a little older and have a daughter of your own, you will understand why we will never be friends. Not ever. You may in many years earn my respect, but, I doubt it. I asked so I would know who to tell my cop friends to keep an eye on.

I'm Woodsrunner, _______'s dad. Don't correct me, he's her father, he's not here and I am the male head of household here. When I married her mom, I became her dad. And by the way, I take the job pretty serious.

Because I'm her dad let's get a few things out of the way.

First, because she's my daughter, she will never be anybodies doormat. Nor will she ever be described by any derogetory word that your generation seems fit to use as song lyrics. Remember that. Also remember I have kicked the asses of better men than you. You think I'm old. Old age, experience, and treachery will always trump youth, remember that

Second, she has a curfew. I will decide what time she has to be home. I reserve the right to set this time as any time appropriate to the event that you are attending, and by my personal schedule. By curfew I mean she will be home, in the house and you will be gone. You can gain points towards that respect by her being here well before curfew. You will also gain alot of points by asking me what time I would like her home, every time you pick her up. You will lose points very fast starting 30 seconds after curfew. 15 minutes after curfew, I will be calling my cop friends and giving them your name with correct spelling.

Third, For your first ten to fifteen dates, my daughter will not be alone with you in a car after dark. Why, because I said so, deal with it!

Fourth, You can address me as Mr Woodsrunner or sir, Her mother will always be Maam. I already know you are calling me asshole or worse behind my back. Trust me I'm glad you feel that way.

Fifth, I know you think I'm pretty old. But, I know I'm not old enough to be a grandfather. In nine months I still won't be old enough to be a grandfather. I will be very very upset, If I'm forced into a job I'm not old enough for. BTW, Have you heard about my large antique gun collection? Did you know, they all are perfectly functional? I know for some strange reason, Websters has left the definition of shotgun wedding out of thier dictionary. Don't worry old school guys like me are very good at explaining the definition. BTW did I mention I have several cop friends? I also have a friend that is a former cop. He went to law school, now people address him as "Your Honor". I'm sure that after a long day of sentencing scumbags, he would love to proceed over a shotgun wedding.

Those are the rules, they are subject to change at my whim. WHY? Because I'm her dad and I'm still breathing, that's why.

There is one last set of details I wan't you to ponder. My daughters ancestry is Puerto Rican and Irish. The Puerto Ricans were mostly spaniards. Have you ever seen a spaniard or an irishman lose thier temper? Trust me it isn't pretty. Now remember another two facts. There is much truth to the old saying about hell having no fury like a woman scorned. Next fact to remember. Remember that gun collection I mentioned? My daughter is a better shot than I am.


WOODS

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Welcome To my new blog

I'm sure some of you will find your way here from my other blog Woodsrunner's Trail. Hopefully I will find more time to post either here or there. The trail will continue to exist with the content it was meant to have. Mainly a place to talk about life in the woods and around the modern homestead and related matters.

This will become the home for posts like the post about the problems with modern males. And don't just think I'm going to rant on men because I am one. I'm going to let fly on issues of both genders. I'm sure I will be making more than my share of enemies. That's ok I'm used to it. I'm hoping I will find a few friends along the way too. This will also become the home of my hero's posts. For those of you that have never read my stuff before, I often lament the lack of proper role models and will on occassion show example of the type of man I think our society needs, if it's to survive. Posts about men that knew the meaning of words like Integrety, Valor, Honor and Chivalry. Men who weren't scared of thier own shaddow or made so soft by television and modern life that they can't perform basic skills. So guys if your looking for a place where testicular fortitude isn't something to be ashamed of, you've found a home. Ladies you are more than welcome here too. Take heed though, if your looking for the type of guy that shaves his body hair and thinks giving women pedicures is the greatest thing there is, you aren't going to find him here. What you will find is the guy that cheers when the Duke flips Maureen O'hara over his knee and spanks her. Honestly, I am the guy that wanted his wife's marriage vows to include the word Obey. I can be fairly open minded. Open minded enough to let you live your life your way. All I ask is you extend me and my friends the same courtesy. And I'm a big boy who still has his balls intact, so, go ahead and call me names, I'm not going to go cry in the corner over it.

Let's have some fun
Woods